


The Day Kazuichi Turned Into A Motorcycle

by nerdelation8



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Inanimate TF, Motorcycle Sex, Motorcycles, Mutual Masturbation, Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), Porn with Feelings, Romance, Soda Kazuichi-Centric, Sonia is really freaked out at first, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-03-13 08:11:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18936919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdelation8/pseuds/nerdelation8
Summary: A glitch in the Neo World Program turns Kazuichi into a motorcycle.  Wacky hijinks ensue!  Meanwhile, Makoto Naegi and the rest of the Future Foundation work to fix the glitch.





	1. Chapter 1

As Kazuichi Souda blissfully tinkered in his garage one morning, he suddenly dropped to the ground, and found that he had changed into a motorcycle.

At first, the Ultimate Mechanic couldn’t believe it. But the full-length mirror next to his workspace didn’t lie. Next to his toolbox, where there once stood a pink-haired man of average height, wearing a yellow jumpsuit and a black beanie, now stood a shiny pink motorbike. It was medium-sized, modern, with sharp-looking headlights.

“What the?!” Kazuichi blurted in shock. He stopped cold. “I-I can still talk! Why can’t I move?!”

He could somehow feel every part of his body – his handlebars, which previously were arms, his headlights, which were once his eyes, and his ribcage which had turned into a mighty engine. The wheels were strange, though. They felt like they were sticking right out of his kneecaps and his chest. 

He realized his kickstand was down. With a strange internal effort, he was able to move it. 

“Hey!” he shouted. “I CAN move!” 

The transformed mechanic leaned side to side, and the vehicle swayed heavily on its tires.

With growing excitement, he visualized his new machinery doing what it needed to start. He started the ignition, squeezed the clutch, and opened the throttle, and was soon rewarded with a heavy rumble from his engine. He felt its power vibrating through his whole body.

“Whoa,” Kazuichi said in amazement. “Holy shit.”

It was almost a religious experience. Kazuichi had been working on marvelously fast machines like this his entire life, and now he WAS one. He should probably be afraid right now, but it was hard to miss his old body when his new one was so incredible. 

He revved it hard a couple more times, then slowly moved himself across the garage floor. At the corner, he stopped and put his kickstand down. “Haha! This is AWESOME!”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. 

“Kazuichi?”

He recognized that sweet voice. It was Sonia Nevermind, the Ultimate Princess.

“M-Miss Sonia!” he called out in surprise. It was his crush! His heart seemed to leap in his chest, even though he didn’t have a heart or a chest anymore. “What is it?”

“Kazuichi, Hajime wants us to talk to everyone. He said for us all to meet at the dining hall.”

“Okay,” he said, a silly giggle working its way out of him.

“What’s so funny in there?” 

“C-Come in and see!” he said with glee. 

Sonia Nevermind opened the door and walked in, her heels clicking softly on the concrete floor.

“Hey! Hey, Miss Sonia!”

The Ultimate Princess glanced around the room, confused. Just seconds ago, she’d heard Kazuichi’s voice in here, and shortly before that, she’d heard the sounds of an engine. 

“Where are you?” she asked.

“I’m right here!” came the Ultimate Mechanic’s voice.

But there was no sign of him in the garage, only some racks of tools, boxes, and a motorcycle leaning against the wall in the corner. 

Sonia didn’t see a speaker or anything else that could have produced the noise. She said uneasily, “Are…are you a _ghost?”_

He laughed. “I’m not a ghost! I’m right here!”

She started to feel uneasy. “This isn’t funny, Kazuichi!” Was he going to pull some weird prank on her? 

“Fine, I'll have Hajime come get you.”

There was a small clang, then the sound of a vehicle starting up. Before Sonia could turn towards the noise, a big pink motorcycle lurched out of the corner with tremendous speed, stopping a couple of feet from her. “I’m a MOTORCYCLE!” Kazuichi exclaimed.

Sonia let loose an ear-piercing scream. 

“It’s okay Miss Sonia, it’s just me!” came Kazuichi’s voice, as the vehicle slowly bounced back and forth on its tires. 

“AAAAH!”

"I didn't mean to scare you!" The motorcycle released its brakes, slowly inching towards her as its engine idled. "I know it's weird, but you don't have to be scared, Miss Sonia!"

“FUCK! It's POSSESSED!” she cried. She threw her arms forward and crossed her trembling hands. “Th-THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!”

“What?! Oh, sorry! I’ll back up…” he frantically apologized.

The vehicle shifted into reverse and began to retreat, but Sonia had already burst out the door. She took off running down the path, yelling “Gundham! GUNDHAM! The garage is haunted!”

“Aww man,” said Kazuichi sadly. “I didn’t mean to scare her! Why do I always screw things up?” Then he thought to himself, _It’s probably good she left…the carbon monoxide in this enclosed space wouldn’t be great for her anyway._


	2. Everyone Meets Kazuichi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuichi escapes the garage and shows everyone his new form. Soon, they start asking for rides.

The pink motorbike that was Kazuichi thundered down the path to the cabins. A large group of classmates was gathering there. As they began to notice him, Kazuichi hit the brakes a little too hard, skidding and nearly doing a somersault. Several people gasped. 

“What the-?” cried Fuyuhiko. “Is this what Sonia was yellin’ about?” 

Kazuichi started accelerating around in lazy circles. 

“Guys! I’M A MOTORCYCLE! Isn’t it awesome?! And look, no motion sickness! AHAHAHA!”

Everyone stared at the pink motorcycle with no rider. Dust clouds rose from the ground.

Sonia clutched Gundham’s goth coat. 

Gundham struck his paranormal pose. “Are you truly Kazuichi Souda, our Ultimate Mechanic? Or some native poltergeist bent on terrorizing us?”

“I told you! I’m Kazuichi!”

“How are you doing this?” said Hajime. “Is that bike remote-controlled?”

“No! See, I was working in the garage, when this real strange feeling came over me! And when I looked in the mirror, I was _this!”_

Sonia wasn't scared anymore. Fascinated, she took a step forward. “Are you sure you’re not…you know…dead?”

“I’m not a ghost! I was in the garage when this happened! If I’d died, my body would be in there!”

“How is this possible?” wondered Peko. 

Hiyoko rolled her eyes. “Psh. Kazuichi sucks so bad at life, maybe the universe took pity on him.”

“Don’t be a brat, Hiyoko!” said Fuyuhiko. 

Hajime was astounded at Kazuichi’s story. “That’s incredible.”

Gundham said, “It would appear you’ve been struck by a curse, friend, even if you’re enjoying it. Did you perchance encounter a genie? Or any sort of mysterious gem?”

“Nothing like that!” said Kazuichi. He was accelerating up and down the path in front of the cabins, enjoying the rush. 

Ibuki said, “Dude, who cares _why_ he transformed? _This rocks!”_ She grinned excitedly. "Ooh, Kazuichi! Can I have a ride?!”

“A…a ride?” he said in amazement. He stopped and idled, too excited to say a word. _Oh my God! A girl wants to ride me! I’m a motorcycle right now, but still!_

“Well, can I?” the rocker girl said with a grin. She patted his back with a _thunk_ noise. 

“Yeah, you can ride!” Kazuichi said in excitement. 

Ibuki swept her delicate hand across the gas tank. “Ooh, you’re so shiny! And I love the color!”

Kazuichi would've been blushing like mad if he were still human. “Th-That feels nice!” he said. 

Ibuki giggled. _“Sweet!_ I’m gonna jump on now!”

“Guys, stop!” said Hajime. 

They froze. 

“This is really cool and all, but don’t forget those things are dangerous!” 

"Okay, Mom," said Hiyoko. 

Hajime felt a little absurd looking into a motorcycle’s headlights and talking to it, but he asked, “Is there a helmet somewhere?”

“Oh! Good idea! There're two helmets that have been in the garage since we got here!” the motorbike said, leaning from side to side. "I'd pick them up, but look...no hands!"

Hajime went to retrieve them, mumbling something about "the only adult here."

“Hajime’s right, Ibuki,” Kazuichi said. “With all my _horsepower,_ you oughta be wearing a helmet! Technically, you should be wearing pants and stuff too, but I'll be careful."

Akane and Nekomaru walked up at just that moment. Like the others, they were amazed by Kazuichi’s metamorphosis. Nekomaru couldn’t stop laughing. “That’s some _CRAZY SHIIIT!”_

Ibuki strapped on her helmet, put on her leather jacket (being a rockstar, she already had one), threw her legs over the seat, and Kazuichi took off. 

“WHOO HOOOOO!” Ibuki screamed in delight. The motorbike flew past everyone’s cabins and zoomed onto the path, soon heard rather than seen. 

Sonia grabbed the front of Gundham’s shirt. “I want to ride too!”

The Ultimate Breeder said, “A-Are you quite sure, princess? It is…rather dangerous.”

“Huh? You’re not scared, are you?” she teased. 

Gundham frowned. “Tanaka the Forbidden One is never scared!”

She raised her eyebrows at him.

A rare smile appeared on Gundham’s face. “I recall you being terrified just a few minutes ago, princess. ‘Oh, Gundham, it’s a ghost!’” he said, waving his arms. “’Gundham! We need an exorcism!’” His red eye and his grey one gleamed mischievously. 

Fuyuhiko, seeing this, put his hand over his mouth and chuckled. 

Sonia said, “Now that it’s not jumping out at me in a small space, and I know it’s not possessed by an evil spirit, it’s awesome!” 

“I thought you found the occult fascinating.”

She gave him a look.

The Ultimate Breeder said more seriously, “You…you may have to ride alone. I’m sorry, Princess.” He lowered his voice sheepishly. “You’re right. I am…afraid.”

“Are you sure you don't want to come?” she said, looking sympathetically into his eyes. 

Gundham looked really embarrassed. His face was pink and his scarf was up.

“Alright then, dibs on the next ride!” Sonia said cheerfully. “What is it the Americans say? You snooze, you lose!”

When Kazuichi came back, both he and Ibuki were cheering with excitement. 

“That was amazing, Kazuichi! I know you love fast things! How long have you been riding?”  
Kazuichi sounded breathless. “I never actually got to ride one before ‘cause I get nauseous! But somehow I’m not anymore!”

She hopped off. “We gotta do that again soon!”

Sonia approached. “Kazuichi, can I go next?”

“Akane and I will go after her!” shouted Nekomaru.

“M-Miss Sonia?! You want to ride? You’re not afraid of me?”

“Not anymore! I always wanted to ride one of these, but I never got to in Novoselic! They said it was too risky for a princess!”

She held her skirt, swung her legs over Kazuichi’s back, and soon her pert backside was sitting on his motorcycle seat. It was heavenly. Kazuichi thought he just might melt into the pavement. 

“And please, just call me Sonia!”

The transformed mechanic sped off into the warm island sunshine and did a wheelie, whooping with happiness.

Sonia shouted in exhilaration. Her whole body held him tight. 

At that moment, Kazuichi said under his breath, "God, or the universe, or whoever it is that transformed me… _THANK YOU!"_


	3. Meanwhile, At Future Foundation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The members of Future Foundation try to figure out what happened to their simulation.

“Okay, what the HELL just happened?!” Byakuya said angrily. He hit his fist on the desk, then he pushed up his glasses. “This simulation’s getting so ridiculous, even THAT idiot’s going to figure out it’s not real!” 

Yasuhiro looked scared. “Ch-Chill out, man! Don't you think it's funny?” 

“Technical difficulties?” came a cool feminine voice as the elevator opened. Kyoko and Makoto walked into the VR room. The sharply-dressed pair had just arrived, ready to start their shift. 

“Ugh,” the Togami heir said in frustration. “You have no idea. The Neo World never had glitches like this during testing!”

“What’s going on?” Makoto asked, adjusting his tie and approaching the screen.

Byakuya sighed. “It appears that the ‘motorcycle 6’ asset got switched with Kazuichi’s player character asset, and he’s receiving all the movement capabilities and sensory stimulations thereof.” He said, “I need a snack, this ridiculousness is making me hangry.”

Kyoko was perplexed. “So, Kazuichi’s…a motorcycle.”

Byakuya picked up an apple and chomped loudly into its side, nodding.

“Oh no!” said Makoto, wide-eyed. “Is he okay?”

“Actually, Pink Hair’s having a great time. He’s zooming around telling everyone this is the best day of his life.”

“He’s giving everybody rides!” said Yasuhiro, pushing his wild hair out of his eyes.

Makoto’s shoulders relaxed a little, though he was still surprised by what he heard. 

“He can still talk?” said Kyoko in puzzlement. 

“Apparently,” said Byakuya.

Makoto stared at the screen. “I wish Asahina wasn’t out sick today. She’d love to see this.”

Yasuhiro replied, “She can always watch the backup footage.”

The Ultimate Hope said, “Well, if Kazuichi’s having so much fun…” 

He turned to his coworkers with a little smile.

“…do we have to fix the glitch right away?” He felt an optimistic speech coming on. He puffed out his chest and started gesturing like a presidential candidate. “Let's look at this as a glass half full. There’s enough tragedy and sadness going on in the program, so why not let them have a little fun. A little _hope._ We could all use some.”

Kyoko nodded. “True. Besides, it may take us awhile just to figure out what went wrong and fix it.” 

Byakuya commented dryly, “Let’s hope Kazuichi doesn’t accidentally kill someone before then, and get squished into a cube by Monokuma.”

 _“Glass half full, Togami!”_ said Makoto. “Everything will be fine.” He pointed at the live feed. “Look, they even found helmets.”

Yasuhiro exclaimed, “This is some crazy stuff, man!” He looked longingly at the screen, where Sonia was hollering and doing a wheelie as she sped around the island. 

_I wanna be a motorcycle too!_


	4. Later that night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ibuki feels bad for Kazuichi parking outside all night, so she invites him to stay in her cabin.

“Kazuichi?” Ibuki said to the pink motorcycle. “You’re still out here?” 

“Huh?”

It was late that evening. The Ultimate Musician had looked out her window and seen Kazuichi still parked outside by the walkway by the cabins. It was getting dark. 

“You weren’t going to stay out here all night, were you?”

“Well...uh…I might go back to the garage.” He did sort of wish he had a warm place to rest.

“Do…” she paused for a moment, uncharacteristically quiet. She looked down to the right, then back up at him. “Do you want to park in Ibuki’s cabin for the night? ‘Cause if you slept in the garage, anyone could walk in…they could even try to murder you! That would make Ibuki so sad!”

“M-Murder me?!” he said with alarm. “Is that possible?”

She placed a hand to her chin. “Hmm,” she piped up, “Ibuki doesn’t know. But you feel it if I do this, right?”

She tapped the panels on his sides. _THUNK THUNK._

“Yeah, I feel that. It’s like touching my ribs.”

He remembered her excitement earlier. Grasping his handlebars, leaning into turns on their ride. _She could kick me and it would probably feel good._

“I dunno if you can die, but what if someone wanted to hurt you?”

He pictured Nagito coming at him in the dark with a sledgehammer, green eyes swirling with insanity. 

“Crap!” Kazuichi said. He tried to unsee the image.

No one had seen Nagito this afternoon – he could be anywhere, planning something nefarious.

“No worries, Kazuichi!” the rocker said with kindness in her eyes. “No worries! Ibuki won’t let that happen to you. Want to come inside?”

“Sure,” he said. "That's a good idea.”

Ibuki opened the door and said “Stay right there!” She tried to move him, but she was a short girl and he was very heavy for her to move. “Uuuuuuugh!” she groaned. She couldn’t move him more than a few inches at a time. “I wish I was stronger!”

“Hey, Ibuki?”

“URRRRRGH!” Her face contorted with the effort. 

“Ibuki, I can drive myself in.”

“Oh. Right! Tee-hee hee!"

“It’s okay, Ibuki,” Kazuichi quipped. “You’re the Ultimate Musician, not the Ultimate Bodybuilder.”

Kazuichi started up his engine, which was unfortunately quite loud. He rolled up gently inside her cabin, across the room from her bed, then extended his kickstand and turned his engine off. Ibuki ipened a window to let the smoke out. 

"Pee-yew," she said, waving her arm with a giggle. 

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. 

Outside, the palm trees were silhouetted against the dusk sky.

"Ibuki?" Kazuichi said as the girl began taking her pajama shorts and tank top out of the dresser.

She turned. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for letting me stay in here."

"Of course! You're Ibuki's classmate. Plus, Monomi says we gotta max out our friendship stats!" She grinned.

"Uh...are you going to sleep now?"

"I was gonna brush my teeth and go to bed. After I put on my...oh."

She had started taking off her shirt. Kazuichi had seen her belly button before she paused. 

"Oops!" Ibuki blushed. If she changed right here, EVERYTHING would be on display for her classmate. It was easy to forget that when your classmate was a motorcycle. 

She said, "I'll...uh...bring my pajamas in here instead!" She walked into the bathroom and closed the door. 

Kazuichi was too stunned to say anything.


	5. Electricity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuichi and Ibuki talk, and it turns into adorably awkward flirting.

“I think you’re really cool, Kazuichi,” Ibuki said, running her hand down his gleaming sides. The paint was thick and smooth. 

They had ended up in a long conversation. Kazuichi’s wheels were parked on the floor of her cabin, and he was touching the side of her bed. Her surprisingly TALL bed.

Ibuki said, “It’s cool you gave everyone a ride, even Nekomaru! AND you know all about things that go fast! Ibuki was impressed. You should show her the stuff you work on sometime.”

The pink motorcycle leaned a little to the side. “Thanks, but you…you just like me now ‘cause I turned into a motorcycle.”

“That’s not true!”

He said a little cynically, “No one really liked me when I was just Kazuichi, the dorky mechanic. But now they all want a ride!"

Ibuki thought of several jokes, but she didn't say them.

“It’s not JUST that you’re fun to ride. It’s…well…you showed Ibuki a new, confident side of yourself! And I can’t speak for everyone, but Ibuki realized you’re actually pretty cool.”

“You mean it?”

“I wouldn’t be saying it otherwise.”

“Th-thank you, Ibuki.”

They sat in silence for awhile. Kazuichi wasn’t sure what to say, but he was enjoying this.

The girl sighed. She lay down on her side, enjoying the softness of her pillows. “Do you, like, miss your old body?”

 _Aw, I shouldn’t have said that,_ she thought. _Now he’ll feel sad._

“It’s weird. I don’t really miss it that much.” _Except right now,_ he thought. “Maybe I’ll miss it later when I can’t work on engines and stuff. But I’ve had more fun like this than I ever had as a human.”

The girl looked out the window. Thousands of stars were visible in the tropical sky, reminding her how far from civilization they were. There had to be at least a hundred miles of ocean between them and the nearest land.

They were out here all by themselves.

“What was it like for you growing up?”

Kazuichi said, “Heh, you keep bringing up sad stuff.”

“I didn’t think it would be sad.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t know.” He told her about growing up painfully shy, about getting beaten by Mr. Souda when he got in trouble, and how he himself had never had that many friends.

“I never knew,” Ibuki said. She looked at him not just with pity, but with tenderness. “It sounds like your childhood was really hard.”

“It wasn’t all bad. But, yeah. Some of it was.” 

Then, Kazuichi’s face lit up (metaphorically) when he described discovering his greatest joy - working on machines in his family’s garage.

“It’s amazing how all the little parts fit together and work,” he said. “Not to nerd out or anything, but it fascinates me. You do something different to one part and it completely changes how the whole machine works. It's like...cooking, or creating art, or something. I get lost in it."

“That’s like how I feel when I’m performing music! It's so much fun. And a different chord or a different instrument can totally change the feeling of a song.” 

“W-What about you, Ibuki?” Kazuichi asked. “What was your childhood like?”

Hers had been much rosier, but it turned out she and Kazuichi had more things in common than they expected. 

“Believe it or not,” she said, “I grew up kinda shy too.”

“What?” he said with a little laugh. “You? M-Ms. Rock Star?”

“I was never the most extroverted kid, PLUS I was super nervous! So it was hard to make friends, AND guys never paid much attention to me.”

“Hey, that’s like me with girls. S-“

He stopped. 

He was about to say “Sonia never pays me any attention,” but right now, Kazuichi wasn’t really thinking about her. He was thinking more about the girl next to him. The girl with the soft skin and the hair with multicolored streaks, who was always full of optimism and energy. While he didn’t really understand her music, he loved the confidence and passion she put into it. The girl with the gorgeous pink eyes. Who was currently staring into his soul. 

Or rather, his headlights. 

It felt like his heart was pounding. But of course, that was impossible. 

“You realize how crazy this is,” Ibuki said with a smile. “I’m lying in bed, listening to a motorcycle complain about its love life.”

Kazuichi laughed nervously. “Heh. Guess that is pretty crazy.”

He looked at her, driven by an impulse. “I probably shouldn’t be complaining, either…there’s a really cute girl like two feet away from me, trying to tell me I’m cool.”

The girl laughed. Her face reddened. “Kazuichi…” she said with a shy smile. 

There was a strange quality to her gaze. The rocker girl was still blushing. It was almost like she wanted to…

“This might sound silly, but can I…” she turned her head in embarrassment. 

“Can you what?”

“Can I kiss you?” she blurted out. 

_You took the words right out of my mouth!_

“Uh, ab-absolutely!”

He popped his kickstand back up to his side. Instead of being parallel to her bed, he moved his wheels to get into a more perpendicular position. Now his “head” faced the side of her bed more directly. 

Ibuki giggled softly and reached both of her hands down to either side of his front, like holding someone’s cheeks. Then she laid a kiss near his right headlight.

Despite his current condition, Kazuichi felt every detail of her soft lips on him.

The feeling was like electricity. 

“Oh. Oh, wow.”

He could hardly think straight. 

“You’re a good kisser!” he blurted out. 

She giggled, both at his awkwardness, and what she’d just done. 

Kazuichi expected at any moment to wake up. _This surely is a dream._

“You taste kinda like a garage,” she teased. 

He chuckled. “To be fair, I probably taste like that even when I’m a human.”

They both laughed. 

Ibuki thought, _Holy crap. I just kissed a machine! And…I liked it._

She ran her hands down his fairings again, enjoying the cool sensation, then turned over the side of the bed completely and gave him a hug. 

Hugging him felt good. 

He said, “I’m glad you took me in tonight.”

“Me too.”

This was getting awfully romantic. Ibuki was feeling fluttery and excited, and she didn’t know what she’d do if they kept on like this. 

Plus, it was silly. 

_He’s a machine!_

_But he’s a person, and…it turns out, he’s pretty awesome._

Trying to stay cool, she patted his seat breezily and said, “That was fun! But Ibuki’s gotta get some sleep now.” She smiled warmly at him before turning over to sleep facing the window. “Goodnight, Kazuichi.”

Strange feelings still churning inside her, it took Ibuki a long time to doze off. 

Kazuichi didn’t even know if he _could_ fall asleep – it wouldn’t really make sense if he could – but he drifted into unconsciousness anyway.


	6. Kazuichi's Best Night Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ibuki invites motorcycle Kazuichi over to her cabin again, and sexy hijinks ensue.

It had been another long, busy day for the Ultimates on Jabba Island. No one had died, thankfully, but the students had been hard at work gathering materials and solving the island’s mysteries.

Kazuichi was still a motorcycle. He had been one for several days now, and the students had no clue why.

And back in the real world, the Future Foundation was still hard at work trying to fix the strange glitch that had led to his transformation. 

As night fell, Kazuichi found himself invited into Ibuki’s cabin again. He hadn’t been there since the evening of his transformation – he’d ended up staying with Hajime for a few days after that.

Ibuki was the type of enthusiastic extrovert who was affectionate with everybody. It was hard to tell her true feelings. But after that other night, when she’d talked with Kazuichi all night and given him a goodnight kiss, he was pretty sure she liked him.

Kazuichi rolled up slowly and parked himself on her floor, as he had done last time. His hopes and his excitement rose. After some small talk, Ibuki got herself ready for bed.

 _Why’d she invite me here?_ the Ultimate Motorcycle wondered.

Ibuki settled into bed with a cute sigh.

"So, how was _your_ day?"

"It was good," he said. "I gave Peko and Fuyuhiko a ride, and Hajime and I talked more about building a boat to get out of here. How about you?"

"Chiaki, Sonia, Mahiru and I all played poker! We invited Akane but she wanted to work out instead. Oh, and I practiced my new song! I should perform it for all you guys soon." 

"Sounds fun. I'd like to hear it," he said, only lying a little. He didn't quite understand her music, but her devotion to it was cool. "Who won the poker game?"

Ibuki sighed. "Chiaki. She kicked our butts so hard, it wasn't even funny! Guess she really IS the Ultimate Gamer..."

After awhile, the Ultimate Mechanic had to ask.

Kazuichi said, “I may not be able to do much like this, but…” He swallowed his nervousness. “…could I come in there with you?”

“Come in here?” she asked with a look of surprise. “Like, in the bed with Ibuki?”

In his regular body, Kazuichi would have been blushing like crazy. _Did I say too much?_

But the Ultimate Musician wasn’t offended. A gung-ho grin appeared on her face. “Sure! Ibuki just…Ibuki doesn’t know how you’d get up here.”

Now that most of his body was metal, Kazuichi was very heavy. He couldn’t drive onto her bed, and she couldn’t exactly lift him, either. 

_What’s with these weirdly large, tall beds anyway? They could have just given us futons!_

“Maybe with some sort of ramp or pulley system…” Kazuichi brainstormed, his mechanical brain working to solve this problem. He wasn’t the smartest person on the island, but he was clever with machines.

The Ultimate Musician got an idea. “Oh!” she exclaimed, pointing her finger in the air. “I got it! If you can’t come to Ibuki, Ibuki will come to you!”

“Wait, you don’t have to get out of your-“

“Stand back!” Ibuki commanded. Kazuichi rolled backwards a few feet. He was able to laboriously move his wheels without turning the engine on.

Ibuki lifted up her mattress from its tall frame and box spring. She dropped it happily onto the floor, covers and all. 

She wasn’t uptight about the dust. And if she didn’t mind putting her bed on the floor to be with Kazuichi, he certainly didn’t mind being there with her. 

His own cabin had all sorts of mechanical devices on every surface, in various states of assembly. Ibuki’s had musical instruments, sheets of lyrics, and even a synthesizer. A messy room told you what someone was passionate about.

Ibuki plopped down into the covers with a smile. Her legs flew into the air for a second. He realized he’d never seen them without the blue and pink tights. They were slender and pretty. “Kazuichi, come here!”

He was excited, but didn’t want to hurt her. “Watch out, I’m heavy!”

“Oh, that’s right! Ibuki will hop out of your way!”

With the way cleared, Kazuichi let himself fall gently into the sheets. Ibuki helped him descend slowly, putting a pillow near his “head.” 

It was unbelievably soft and lovely in Ibuki’s bed, and it smelled just like her. 

Warm and sweet. Like candy.

As his powerful, gleaming body fell helplessly into the bed, Ibuki found herself getting excited. 

_He’s so sleek and beautiful,_ she thought. Her pulse quickened. _And he’s all mine!_

She couldn’t wait to do…well, whatever they ended up doing.

“Hehehe!” she giggled, throwing a billowing sheet over both their bodies. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah,” he said honestly, as the white sheet settled onto them. She was so close to him now. “This is probably the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my life.” 

“And you wanted to sleep outside!” she said, poking him. “Silly boy.”

“It’s good they give us such big beds. This wouldn’t work with a twin,” Kazuichi remarked. 

“Yeah,” the rocker girl said.

There was a pause. Their proximity felt hushed and intimate. 

“Ibuki, I know I said this, but…thank you.”

“Of course, of course! Ibuki likes to help out her friends.” 

_Friends?_ he wondered. _I hope it's not gonna be like that..._

She looked at him a little more closely, as if searching for an expression on his face. "I didn't just mean friends, you know. I..." Her voice got quieter. “I _like_ you, Kazuichi, even if you aren’t human anymore.”

“I like you too, Ibuki.”

The Ultimate wasn’t lying. Her beauty and energy drew him like a magnet. He thought no one but Sonia could have this magical effect on him, but it turned out he’d been wrong. 

Now what to say to her?

Their conversation had flowed so easily the other day, but now Kazuichi felt nervous. _Ironic, since I don’t have nerves anymore._

Hajime had given him some good advice. “I’m not a huge flirt or anything, but girls like to talk about themselves. If you ask about their interests, and aren’t creepy about it, most people will be happy to talk with you.”

Kazuichi did that. Ibuki's eyes lit up as she talked about her band, her time in the Light Music Club, and her favorite metal groups. 

It got harder and harder to focus on what Ibuki was saying. Kazuichi wasn’t human anymore, but he was physically feeling something. A growing ache of desire, even if he couldn’t localize it.

He wanted her so badly.

_And she said she likes me._

“I-Ibuki?” he said.

She smiled. “Yeah?”

_I’d hug her if I could._

“Can…can you hold me?”

“Of course!”

Without any hesitation, the rocker girl wrapped her body around Kazuichi. His gleaming sides were all plastic and metal, cool to the touch. Until she warmed him up.

When he’d been around her before, as a human, he’d always been a little intimidated by Ibuki. Her fearless, relentlessly positive personality threw him off a little. It was as if just by being around her, all of his secrets might be revealed. 

He felt compelled to tell her things. “You’re not as scary as I thought!” Oof. Had he put his foot in his mouth again?

“What? You think I’m scary?”

He clarified, “N-Not scary! But you can be kinda…intimidating sometimes. Like, you’re so bold and extroverted, and I’m…not.”

“Ibuki’s not scary, silly. Ibuki just likes to live life to the fullest!”

“I like that. About you.”

After they had been talking for awhile, Ibuki said, “Ibuki hopes you don’t think she’s a fast girl just because she likes fast things.”

“No,” he protested, “Of course not! I think you’re really cool!”

Her voice got quieter. “I know there’s more important things in life than a…a temporary physical relationship. But…Ibuki really wants you. She wants…” Ibuki fell silent for a moment, embarrassed. Truth be told, she wasn’t even sure what she was asking for. 

The Ultimate Mechanic said, “I like you too. But how can we do anything when I’m like this?!” It was driving him mad. 

She gave him a sly smile. “We’ll have to get creative."

Ibuki began kissing his body all over, stronger and deeper than before. Her hips moved as she found a pleasing spot to rest herself on him. She began grinding. Softly, slowly, her body began to respond. 

“Ooh,” she said, letting out a breath. “That feels good.”

Kazuichi was speechless. 

_Ibuki’s grinding on me. Holy shit._

Her warm skin pressed against him. The scent was intoxicating.

She paused. 

“Are you okay?” Ibuki asked. “You’re awfully quiet.”

The transformed mechanic said, “I just – that feels so good.”

She tried to pull him closer, but his metal frame was quite heavy.

“Let’s keep you right where you are, then,” she said. She continued pushing herself against him.

Kazuichi, while she wasn’t quite doing the same thing to him as he was doing to her, was still getting a lot of pleasure out of this. 

“Oh,” he said, gasping with amazement. 

This was his first time in bed with a girl. Any girl. And here Ibuki was, pleasing herself with his body. Moving her most secret parts against him. 

It felt incredible. 

He wished he could do more – oh, the things he would do to her if he was human! – but on the upside, at least he didn’t have to worry about performing for her. 

“Oh, yes,” she said, and shuddered a bit.

Kazuichi was shocked. “D-Did…did you just-!”

She giggled. “I think I did.”

She pulled away from spooning Kazuichi and relocated herself against his front, right by his headlights. She ground against him some more.

The sight was incredible. Her curves were amazing, and she had lovely bone structure, Kazuichi thought. You could see the parts moving clearly and elegantly, like a well-designed machine.

_Heheh. A machine that, if I'm not mistaken, seems to be lubing itself up._

Hajime said comparing girls to machines was creepy. 

Screw it. The last thing he wanted to think about right now was Hajime.

Not while Ibuki’s perfect curves were on him, in feminine motion. 

The sight, the warmth, and the slight dampness intoxicated him.

“Okay, _this_ is officially the best day ever,” the pink motorcycle said. Ibuki just giggled.

By the time she finally rolled off of him, she had fully enjoyed herself two or three times.

Kazuichi was dazed. 

The girl blushed heavily. When she caught her breath, she said, “Ibuki wants to know: What can I do to _you_ that will feel that good?”

“I-I don’t know,” he said, overwhelmed. “That was awesome already. But If I was in my regular body there’d be a pretty easy answer.”

“Well,” she said with a smile, “you said this part-“ she tapped his sides – “corresponds to your ribs. And this part-“ she touched near his headlights – is like your eyes.”

“Yeah.”

“What if I touch…”

Her hands went to a certain area. 

Kazuichi was confused. It felt good, but not in the way she was hoping for. 

Ibuki searched for the perfect, singular spot to please him, but in this form it wasn’t that simple. The pleasure that he got was more diffuse and holistic. An escalating, full-body feeling.

It wasn't like when he was human, but it was pleasurable.

Eventually, Ibuki found just what to do to him.

He didn’t think it would be possible in this body - it shouldn't be - but that night, Ibuki brought him to ecstasy with her touch.

Kazuichi cried out with a sudden whimper, electricity crackling through his body. Without any input from him, his engine suddenly roared to life. “Aaah!” both he and Ibuki cried. Then, Kazuichi fell silent. 

His mind was blown. His world exploded into ecstasy. Everything had changed. 

Ibuki said, “That…was…SO METAL!”

“Oh, my God,” Kazuichi managed to say.

She walked over and opened the window wide. "Seriously, that was the most metal thing I've ever seen!"

When she returned, she dove back into bed with him and threw her arms around him. She kissed him, and her tiny piercings clinked softly against his front fairings. 

“That, Ibuki, was _amazing.”_ There was a little swagger in his voice as he said it. 

Straining, he lurched his metal frame a few inches closer to her. Ibuki flinched for just a moment at the unexpected movement. 

“You scared me!” she said, as if it was the most fun thing in the world. 

“You have no idea how much I want to hold you in my arms,” the transformed mechanic said.

“I’ll hold you then,” Ibuki said happily, and spooned him. 

Ibuki felt energized. It was exciting, having this much power over a man.

_I did this. I made him feel this way._

After a couple minutes of silence, she realized her lover hadn’t said anything.

Ibuki got up from the mattress. She looked into the motorbike’s headlights and said, “Kazuichi?”

There was no response. 

“Hello?”

Just an eerie silence. 

She felt a little anxious. “Are you okay? Kazuichi?”

She tapped with her hand.

“Huh?!” he said, jolting awake. 

“Oh!” she said, relieved. “I couldn’t hear you breathing anymore, not that you do breathe anymore, and you’d been quiet for so long and I just…just wanted to make sure you were okay.” She realized she’d been rambling. 

“I’m fine,” he said, and yawned. “Just drifted off…love you, goodnight.”

“Wha-?” Ibuki said in surprise. 

“I-aah!” Kazuichi panicked. “N-Never mind! I mean, see you tomorrow! Goodnight!”

Ibuki chortled. “No comment!” Then she looked at Kazuichi shyly, a bright blush coloring her face. “Good night.”

She got back into bed, turned over, and tried to sleep.

Kazuichi tried to forget his mortification.


	7. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuichi and Ibuki seem unusually happy on their way to breakfast.

As Ibuki walked to the dining hall, Kazuichi rode along next to her. They talked cheerfully about various things. Occasionally, Ibuki slapped the back seat of the motorcycle and giggled. 

Hajime said, “Ibuki, Kazuichi, how’s it going?” He tried to act natural, like talking to a sentient motorbike was the most normal thing in the world.

“Hehe. I feel great!” said Kazuichi. “It’s a beautiful morning.”

Hajime didn’t think he had ever heard the Ultimate Mechanic so blissful. 

Ibuki grinned. “Another gorgeous sunny day!” she said, pumping her fist in the air. “This island rocks.”

The taller boy was surprised. “You’re not worried about that announcement Monokuma was about to make? About the next motive?”

“Oh, I’m sure everything will turn out fine, just fine.”

Hajime raised an eyebrow.

_That’s unlike him. Turning into a motorcycle must have calmed Kazuichi's nerves._

Just then, he noticed an odd little mark on Kazuichi’s right handlebar. A faint trace of something translucent white. “Hey, you got something there," Hajime said. Before either of his friends could react, he'd wiped it off with a couple swipes of his white sleeve. “There you go.”

“Oh! Th-Thanks,” Kazuichi said, and just a couple seconds later, Hajime heard the sound of the Ultimate Motorcycle stifling a giggle. 

Ibuki had seen the whole thing. She turned bright red. 

“Anyway, have a nice day, you guys,” said Hajime, and he started walking up the stairs to the diner. 

The girl and the pink motorcycle went into the first floor of the building, moved across the lobby, and then Ibuki pressed the button for the elevator. 

At that moment, the two made eye contact and burst out laughing.

Meanwhile, as Hajime got to the top floor of the diner, his brain put the pieces together. 

He stopped cold. His green-brown eyes widened. 

At that moment, he had realized what that substance was.

_Last night, Kazuichi and Ibuki…his handlebars…Oh my God!_

“Hey, Hajime!” exclaimed Akane. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost! Come have some food!”

Hajime told her it was nothing. He walked into the bathroom and washed his hands furiously, fearing they’d never be clean.

When he came back, Ibuki sat munching her Fruit Loops and talking with Fuyuhiko and Peko. Nekomaru was explaining to Chiaki how Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out was different from actual boxing.

Chiaki asked, “This Mike Tyson, though…he’s an actual person?” She seemed fascinated. 

“How can you not know Mike Tyson?!” said Nekomaru in amazement. 

“I don’t really follow boxing,” Chiaki shrugged.

Kazuichi socialized politely with Mikan, who was much too frightened to even _touch_ a motorcycle. Sonia, Gundham, and Akane fed tidbits of fruit to the Four Dark Devas of Destruction. 

Hajime ended up sitting with Hiyoko and Nagito. _Just my luck,_ Hajime thought sarcastically.

“Oh, Hajime!” Nagito beamed. “Just my luck to get to sit with such talent today!”

“Shut up, loser,” said Hiyoko, shoving a heaping spoonful of Captain Crunch into her mouth. She kept talking as she chewed. A couple Crunch Berries flew out. “Hearing _your_ creepy-ass voice makes me want to barf.”

“Such language,” chuckled Nagito. “Well, I can’t blame you. I am trash, after all…”

Hajime glanced at the other kids at his table. They were a brat, a muscleman, a timid nurse, a sex-crazed motorcycle, a rocker girl having sex with said motorcycle, and a crazed hope maniac. _Great._

He was almost too weirded out to eat his Cheerios. _Please,_ thought Hajime, _someone save me from these crazy people._


End file.
